Barbie: I am seriously gonna assassinize that fly.
Regarding the stature of a particular celebrity: Barbie:I don't know. He's so --s0, frame-ular.
Discussing Jennifer Garner, who in the movie "Electra" isn't much of a girly girl: Barbie: Well, you do know she was Electrica.
Replying to Bug, who is learning Japanese: Bug: Arigato! Barbie: Yeah, uh, Tamagotchi!
During a conversation one day, as Barbie was talking about a friend of hers: Barbie: "So then she just looked at me, with that 'moose in the driveway' kind of look." Me: "That what?" Barbie: "You know. That moose-in-the-driveway look." Me, stopping to think for a second: "Oooohhh! You mean the 'deer in the headlights' look?" Barbie: "Oh. Whatever."
One night while I was working, the organizational work of Barbie once again: Hunk O Man: Oh, it won't kill you not to have any ice cream tonight. ( he leaves the kitchen momentarily) When he re-enters the kitchen -- all 5 girls are laying on the kitchen table and floor as if they've died.
Having saved her some dinner, which she ate after work: Barbie: "Why'd you fix me green beans? I hate green beans." Me: "Because you need some green in your diet." Barbie: "I'm wearing green. That's all the green I need." She was actually wearing a green polo shirt.
Regarding a pistol that had been passed on from Hunk O Man's father to him: Barbie: "Dad, you really should get a newer gun. I mean, that one must be from the Rock Era or something. Hunk O Man: "You mean the Stone Age?" Barbie: "Rock Era, Stone Age -- whatever. It's all the same."
Regarding various things she is asked and has no idea what the answer is: Barbie: "How should I know? What am I, a brainiologist?"
Heard while watching one of the "Superman" movies: Barbie: "Look! It's the planet Crouton!"
Regarding the dangers of not using the crosswalk: Barbie: "Dad, I don't think we should be streetwalkers like this." Hunk O Man: "Honey, I think you mean jaywalkers."
We are shopping and I comment that the clothing looks a lot like it did when I was in junior high: Barbie: "Mom, it's called retro. Next thing you know, my kids will be dressing like cowboys and indians."
Heard over the phone as the girls and Hunk O Man are crammed into a rental car, heading to the airport, right after Christmas: Barbie: "Mama, we're squished in here like sushi!"
Remembering a Christmas Day spent in the ER: Barbie: "Daddy, do you remember I was in the hospital once? I had ammonia."
Driving home from a family reunion, Hunk O Man and I are discussing the relatives we've seen. We are driving in a rural area: Barbie: "Whatta buncha pigs!" Me: "Barbie! We don't talk about our relatives like that!" Barbie: "No, really, Mom. Look!" I look out the window and we are driving past an actual hog farm -- with LOTS of pigs.
In the car, while passing by the Allen Funeral Home : Barbie: "Oh, look. There's the Alien Funeral Home."
On global warming: Barbie: "I'm telling you, if there's an ice age, I'm moving."
Having just seen the movie "Ice Age 3:" Barbie: "Chasm of death? Is it chasm of death?" JB: "Yes! I've told you a hundred times! Chasm of death!" Barbie: "Well I don't . . I can't . . I don't have a good re-memory!"
On month-old birthday cake: Barbie:"If I eat this, I'll probably choke, then die, then get cancer 5 years later." Me:"Then don't eat it." Barbie:"But I'm hungry!" Me:"Then eat it!" Barbie: "Mom. Told you. Choke. Die. Cancer 5 years later."
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