Sorry, I Have No Idea. Actually, I Don't Work Here.

I often walk through a store (usually Wal-Mart, since that's pretty much all there is where I live) and pick up things.  I don't mean things to buy -- I mean things that have fallen on the floor.  I also put the clothing back on the racks when it's fallen down, and even put pieces of clothing with others of its kind when it's out of place.  I pick up trash and throw it away.  I pick up the odd things stuck in the checkout stands and give them to the cashier to put away.

I am just one amazingly conscientious person, aren't I?  Giving and generous with no thought to myself.

Wow, humble too.  I even amaze myself.

Did I mention that I often say to myself, "What is the matter with people these days?" and "Who works here, anyway?  Do they actually work?  Do they pay any attention to the way this store looks?  Well apparently not.  Jeesh, look at this place.  I don't even work here and I'm doing this."

I recently remembered an incident in my past.  A boyfriend at the time (who proved to be a complete jerk -- but apparently now is a pretty nice, good person) noticed a garden hose outside my apartment.  It had not been wound up and put away.  He asked why not.

To which I replied, "How should I know?  It's not my hose."

He then said "Well who cares whose hose it is?  Somebody should put it away!  And especially you if it isn't your hose!"

I then thought "gosh, what's the matter with me?"

I then thought "who does he think he is, anyway?"

Well, even though he and I and pretty much everyone I knew at the time who was my age were all jerks, he was right.  I should have been even more concerned about that hose because it didn't belong to me.

I have such high ideals for myself, my family, my life.  I try to example Jesus in my life.  The problem is that while I think it's a great idea and it will make me look good, my motivation is often suspect.  Or if I were actually honest with myself, I'd have to admit that my motivation pretty much negates the whole action.

And this just goes to show you that no matter how close to God we think we're getting, there is still a vast chasm between us and Him.  All the more reason to believe that it doesn't matter how good we are.  It still won't get us to heaven.

And I am certainly no better than those people who left this stuff all over.  Maybe they were having a crisis, or dealing with unruly children, or in a hurry and late, or maybe they didn't even notice the thing fell down.  Or they were too shy and insecure to admit to a cashier that they just didn't want that thing they brought to the register.

Ah, the benefit of the doubt.  I want it but I don't want to extend it.  Shame on me.

And once again, thank God for His amazing grace.  I have to go to Wal-Mart right now, and I think I'm going to need it.

xoxoxox

Real Life Calls for Real Solutions

The stress is getting to me. I think I need a new drug.

Honestly, just to say that gives me pause. Are we a society now that solves our self-control problems with drugs? I hope not. There is a lot to be said for the gift of self-control. Paul talks about it in Galatians 5:

²²But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. ²⁴Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. ²⁵Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. (NIV)

Let me just say this: crucifying the old self is a little tougher than it looks. I read that passage above, and I notice that love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and gentleness all come before self-control. Honestly, I think it would be a whole lot easier to be self-controlled if I had all that other stuff going on.

We live in a world now where the idea of being bipolar is generic for "I can't control my shopping, " or "I can't control my temper." You know what? I can't control my temper either. I don't seem to have the built-in mechanism to be able to see when the stress of a situation is building, and then walk away. I truly believe there are good reasons for people to be taking antidepressants and mood stabilizers. Honestly, I think I am a walking advertisement for them.

And then again, at least for me, I think I have to take some responsibility for being self-controlled. The gifts of the Spirit do not usually come packaged in a little pill. The pill might make it infinitely easier to be self-controlled, but in real life you have to do a little more than depend on medication to make your life all better.

So today my kitchen was a colossal mess yet again, because those in my family aren't doing their jobs -- and we all have families like that at times. My solution? Clean it up. Then take out all the dishes and throw them against the brick wall of the house. No dishes = no dirty dishes to keep the kitchen an endless mess.

OK, before you think that's a bit extreme, let me give you this caveat: they were Dollar Store dishes, all chipped, and the total cost for them all was probably only about $20. My feeling was that it was cheaper than therapy. And also I have more dishes in the house that can be used; they're just put away.

I gotta tell you, throwing those dishes against that brick wall sure did feel good. And it sure did relieve some stress.

So we all have our ways of coping. Some people get ulcers, some withdraw, some even commit suicide. Some depend on medications, some altogether too much. Me, I throw dishes. Well, at least I threw them today. I thought it was a pretty creative solution, to be truthful. Anybody need some broken pottery for a mosaic?

xoxoxox